A.A.P

I sometimes think that those who support us aren’t appreciated enough and so, for our three year anniversary, I thought that I would dedicate this post to my ever suffering other half, Ashley, to thank him for all of the love and support he has provided over the last three years- an Ashley Appreciation Post (A.A.A.) if you will.

Three years ago, I was not expecting to be where I am today. I can therefore safely assume that Ashley, had no idea what on earth he was getting himself into.

Three years ago, I was “normal”. I was able to go out drinking with my friends, keep down a full-time job, drive, walk!

I met Ashley three and a half years ago at work, we initially bonded over a mutual love of Pokémon and eventually realised that we had quite a bit in common. After some subtle office flirting, we had our first kiss in the very romantic setting of our empty office.

I was open with Ashley from the very beginning about my Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, it was hard not to be seeing as I’d dislocated my jaw within a couple of weeks of starting working in our office! During one of our earliest conversations, I remember him saying to me was “Don’t worry, I’ll push you around in your wheelchair when you get old” (by old I think he meant 63 not 23.)  He was completely understanding and accepting of my EDS. He wanted to come to my Dr's appointments and would read up on EDS to try and understand it better. I think he knows more about it than me by now!

Just over 3 months into our relationship, we decided to put a deposit on a brand new ground floor, obviously, apartment. Crazy, I know. But as they always say “when you know, you know” and I knew he was my person (plus we bought off plan so worst case scenario, we would have just had to sell it once it was built!)

One year and several subluxations later we had moved into our lovely little apartment. I adored having our own place and really loved cooking dinner every night, the washing up – not so much.

Two months into moving in, however, I was hospitalised with a suspected hip subluxation. I spent a week in the hospital where I was given copious amounts of pain relief but no rehabilitation and was discharged with the same ongoing “treatment”. I was left bedridden and in the end, had to source my own wheelchair just to get myself around the apartment.  Thank goodness we went for the practicality of the ground floor over the allure of the better view.  

I had gone from a 23 year old who enjoyed life and relished the new found independence of owning our first home to a completely dependent 23 year old who needed constant support and aid to the point I couldn’t even shower on my own. Ashley was there with me every step of the way, supporting me and encouraging me. He even organised to work at home 2 days a week in order to help look after me. Only one year into our relationship and at the age of 26 he took on the role of my carer.

That was nearly two years ago now and since then we have faced some real tough times and rough patches, most of them have been due to my health, but together we have gotten through them. I am still stuck in my wheelchair and Ashley is still having to push me around, 40 years too soon. However, I can honestly say I am the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.

I have been lucky enough to find someone who makes me smile even when I’m in the worst pain and who makes me feel beautiful even when I’ve been bedridden for a week. He makes me feel wanted and needed even when I feel at my most helpless and I am so thankful for that.

If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life who makes each day just that little bit easier be they your partner, parent, friend, whoever, make sure you let them know how much you appreciate them. It is far too easy to take that kind of love and care for granted!

Happy Anniversary Ashley!